How to knit a hat, crackpot style

1. Decide to make a hat with earflaps for running, using fair isle-esque techniques.
2. Determine desired yarn characteristics: superwash worsted weight wool
3. Search internet for patterns
4. Find one pattern that is nice, except
a. gauge is different
b. hat is knit top-down
c. top shaping is strange
d. I only like some of the colorwork
5. While at yarn store, covet some Cascade 220 superwash yarn, but resist buying it because I have multiple other projects in process
6. Go back to said yarn store two days later, only to find that one of the colors I’d wanted to buy is no longer in stock, and I can’t make a pleasing color combination with other colors which are available.
7. Decide to knit with Dale Freestyle yarn instead.
8. Since the freestyle comes in smaller skeins, decide to buy 4 colors instead of the previously-planned two.
9. Spend a long time debating which color should be the 4th in the set. Yarn store owner advocates one color, I decide I prefer the other
10. Get in line to check out with choice of colors.
11. While waiting in line, try to put the colors together in 2-color subsets.
12. Decide that there isn’t enough contrast.
13. Switch to other possible 4th color, which provides more contrast.
14. Purchase yarn.
15. Knit gauge swatch
16. Decide I’m getting 11 stitches/2 in
17. Cast on 110 stitches, but don’t start knitting
18. Determine that the colorwork I liked from the pattern I found on the web doesn’t have a stitch repeat that will fit evenly into 110 stitches.
19. Look through numerous books in search of a colorwork pattern that will fit evenly into 110 stitches.
20. Chart something that is vaguely pleasing.
21. Decide that I really should admit to myself that I’m getting 10.5 stitches/2 in, so I should use 105 stitches instead.
22. Look through numerous books for colorwork patterns that will fit evenly into 105 stitches.
23. Downsize a 17-stitch pattern to make it 15 stitches
24. Add some more color changes to it to reduce incidences of long floats.
25. Chart out pattern.
26. Start knitting hat.
27. Realize while doing the 2nd repeat of the pattern that I think I would’ve preferred the “less contrast” color combination after all, or smaller bands of color. Grumble to self.
28. Oh well, I can always make another hat suitable for wearing in public when it’s not 6 am and I’m not running.
29. While at work, ponder top decrease options and come up with really cool idea for reducing star size.
30. Work on hat some more, see that really cool decrease idea would lead to incredibly long stocking cap.
31. Do far less exciting, but much easier and shorter decrease pattern.
32. Determine size of earflaps, chart out earflap pattern
33. Choose color combination for earflaps
33. Knit earflaps on to bottom of hat.
34. Grumble to self about two-color purling, ponder using slightly different purling techique for one of the yarns, but that would take more thought.
35. Note that earflap color combination makes the high-contrast second pattern repeat stand out even more.
36. Use one of the high-contrast colors for edging along bottom of hat.
37. Rationalize less-than-attractive color combination as a way to prevent wearing of sweaty running hat in polite company
38. Further rationalize that the color combination with less contrast still wouldn’t have coordinated with the scarf I made earlier in the winter for dressy wear, or the mittens I’m going to make to coordinate with the scarf.

Unfortunately my digital camera likes to eat batteries even when turned off, so no pictures until batteries are recharged.

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