Green for the Holidays

Green for the Holidays or Gift Bag Etiquette
By Not That Martha

We join together this year to give a Gift to Our Planet by limiting the waste surrounding our gifts to each other. Specifically, we consider the concept of re-gifting and the process of recycling.

Consequently, in order to prevent indescribable faux pas (somebody ask the French student if that’s plural—hard to remember from 40 years ago) during the holiday season, all giftees are asked to observe the following guidelines for Gift Bag Etiquette.

gift bags

1.Gift Bags may be re-gifted.
a. Gift Bags may be re-gifted the same year they are originally gifted.
b. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to another giftee.
c. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to the original giftor.
d. Gift Bags may be re-gifted to a new giftee who is not present at the original gifting.
e. Inscribed gift tags should be removed from the Gift Bag before re-gifting.
f. Gift Bags may be embellished before re-gifting. Beads, buttons, baubles, ribbons, rickrack, gilding, glitter, and embroidery may be used as embellishments. Other items, as deemed artistically appropriate by the re-giftor may also be used as embellishments. Chocolate, though quite acceptable as a gift, should not be used as an embellishment unless it is well wrapped.
g. Gift Bags made of fabric should not be re-gifted through the refuse collection receptacle unless the gift is intended for the refuse collector or for a fregan or for an anthropology graduate student conducting garbology research.
h. If the Gift Bag is to be re-gifted to contain an edible gift, the edible gift should first be enclosed in a food grade wrap.

penguin bag

2.Gift Bags may be recycled.
a. Gift Bags made of paper may be recycled through municipal recycling services.
b. Gift Bags made of fabric may not be recycled through municipal recycling services.
c. Gift Bags made of paper may be recycled for art or craft projects. Those under the age of seven should use blunt tipped scissors if any cutting is involved in the recycling.
d. Gift Bags made of fabric may be recycled by re-sizing. Those over the age of seven may use Dangerous Equipment, such as sharp scissors, seam rippers, rotary cutters, pins, and sewing machines to re-size the Gift Bag.
e. Gift Bags made of fabric may be recycled into other fabric projects, including quilts, clothing, fabric jewelery, fabric sculptures, or whatever the artist can imagine. Again, the use of Dangerous Equipment is restricted to those over the age of seven.
f. Gift bags (paper or fabric) may be recycled into luggage for playing Airplane or Trip to China.
g. Gift Bags may be recycled into refuse containers for playing Garbage Man or into shopping bags for playing Grocery Store.
h. Gift Bags may be recycled into accessories for playing The Firefighters Come to School, although exactly what the function of the Gift Bags would be is not yet clear.
i. Gift Bags may be recycled to carry clothing from one place to another. However, caution should be used when transporting one’s (previously worn) delicates through any airport in a Gift Bag, due to Homeland Security issues.
j. Gift Bags may be recycled into planet-friendly lunch bags. However, it is not recommended that one use the same recycled gift bag for one’s lunch that one used for transporting one’s (previously worn) delicates.

small bag

2 Responses to “Green for the Holidays”

  1. Rebecca says:

    brilliant! I’ll bring along my quilt show tote bags that I never use for anything other than cluttering up my floor.

  2. Cathy says:

    Marty, you’re absolutely cracking me up over here. You’ve even managed to crack up Chris, and at this time of year (being Before His Grading Is Finished), that’s an accomplishment.

    Oh, and the bags are gorgeous!

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