
An almost completely, virtually, practically, literally true play, in four acts.  It takes place in an ordinary kitchen.
Act I
Spooky music starts.
Telephone rings.
Telephone rings again.
Homeowner enters from stage left.
Spooky music gets louder.
Telephone:  Call from wireless source.
Homeowner looks on in horror!
Telephone:  Call from wireless source.
Homeowner:  What the????
Telephone:  Call from wireless source.
Homeowner:  (tentatively picking up receiver)  Hello?
Telephone:  This is Grandma Ann.
Act II  A few minutes later.
Homeowner:  Where is that telephone instruction manual?  Aha!  Here. 
Homeowner rifles through booklet, pushes buttons on telephone receiver, and hangs it up.
Homeowner:  I stopped it.
Act III   Later that day.
Homeowner walks into kitchen.
Associate Homeowner:  (from behind a computer) It’s still talking.  
Homeowner:  I stopped it.
Associate Homeowner:  It’s still talking.
Act IV The next day.
Associate Homeowner:  Maybe you didn’t really stop it.
Homeowner: (Picks up receiver and pushes buttons.)  See, it says ‘Off.’
Associate Homeowner:  Maybe it has two voices.
Associate Homeowner picks up instruction manual and begins reading instructions.
Associate Homeowner:  You have to turn the base unit off, too.
Homeowner picks up receiver and pushes more buttons.
Homeowner:  Now I stopped both of them!
Victorious music begins.